Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Labels are just a fancy name for LIFE

When I was very young I was given the label of being hyperactive, retarded, and anti-social. I lived up to those labels. I stopped making good grades in school. I acted up at home and at school, and I never made friends. Growing up other labels were placed on me. Ugly, and unlovable. I responded with kind. I hated the way I looked and when other kids teased me I acted very strange, (hence the label mentally retarded. In my teenage years a new label was placed on me crazy. once again I did not let the people who labeled me, (professionals) down and began to be crazy. Drug addict, alcoholic, schizophrenic, followed as I became an adult. Later on I was given an AXIS from the Air Force of having Borderline Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Chronic Dystimia (a fancy way of saying I was constantly depressed ) with Suicidal ideation. I was on every kind of medicine that was known to modern man in the psychiatric field at the time.
I believed the LABELS. I lived the LABELS. I became the LABELS.
I went through hell, and then I stopped listening to what the so called professionals were telling me and I listened instead to my heart, and my soul.
My Heart told me that I certainly was not retarded, bad, schizophrenic or ugly, and my soul told me that The "Lord" loved me!
If I was upset I had a legitimate reason to be. I had been very misused as a child. But, I was no longer a child, and I had to find out what and who I really was.
I went off the medicine, and I stopped relying on professionals to tell me if I was upset, angry, happy, or sad. I found that when my body was free of the chemicals that I had been on for so long that the labels that had been tagged onto me all my life was just LIFE.
Thats right life sometimes will not go our way and when things don't go right all the time, and we get sad that is LIFE! When we are betrayed by the ones we love; even though, it hurts it is still LIFE!
So right or wrong that is my theory LABELS are just a fancy name for LIFE.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Addictions

There are all sorts of addictions in life. Alcohol, drugs, caffeine, cigarettes, food, pills, and sex just to name a few. However there also is an unknown addiction. This addiction is just as deadly as any of the above, but we do not recognize it. We have quaint sayings for this addiction like: trouble follows him or her wherever they go, or if it was not for bad luck he or she would have no luck. Still not sure what I am talking about? Let me spell it out for you! CHAOS!!
If you are a survivor then you know what I am talking about. Has this ever happened to you?
You have just weathered through yet another emotional storm or crisis or issue, that seems to be your life, and everything is going smoothly and yet you have a feeling of impending doom. What do you do, well somehow,(not your fault really) you seem to fall into another crisis, and you feel as if things are now in balance. You are at your element after all you have faced many crisis and come out all right so far.
Well sisters and brothers I am here to tell you that somehow you have become addicted to CHAOS, and you need intervention. Unfortunately there is no AA, NA, or Weight Watchers for this addiction. You have to take a good hard look into yourself and ask what need does this addiction fill. Are you constantly getting reassurance that you are going to be okay? Do the troops rally around you when a crisis erupts. Do people around you, who usually ignore you all of a sudden start paying attention to every thing you say or do?
You need help. You need to try to find something else to fulfill those needs. And no not drugs, alcohol, food or sex!!
It is going to be very hard at first, and you may slip back into the addiction every once in a while, but you can do it.
How do I know about the CHAOS addiction? It was my addiction for so long, and if I can recognize it and try to do something to change it then so can you. Of course the fist step is admitting that this addiction exists in your life, and then although it will be hard, and you will surely miss it. You can start to change the behaviors that feed this addiction.
Good luck it is not easy, but it is very rewarding!!! :)